Jim’s Notebook: The Chicago End-of-Life Expo

Photo credit: Erica Reid, Becky Robison

I went to an inspiring event this weekend called the Chicago End-of-Life Expo, which represented a grass roots effort to motivate people to discuss and prepare for death and dying.

The expo was the brainchild of Erica Reid Gerdes, founder of the end-of-life planning advocacy group Waxwing Journeys, and activist and author Becky Robison. Robison operates the website www.deadparentswhatnow.com, and her book with the same title published in January.

Reid Gerdes, a death doula, met Robison last summer at the Funeral Consumers Alliance conference, and they soon became fast friends. Soon after, they began discussing holding an event in partnership with Comedian Alison Zeidman, who performed her show, “Ready to Die” at the expo. The show focuses on her experience with her parents’ deaths and a comedic tour through elder care and end-of-life planning.

“The goal is education and to showcase all of the amazing death workers in Chicago. We’re all a community. We’re all colleagues,” Reid Gerdes told me at the expo. “So, I want to just elevate the other people doing this great work and let people know that there are accessible ways to deal with end of life that aren’t traumatic.”

Robison lost her mother in 2020 from liver disease, and her father died in 2023 of pancreatic cancer. This was the start of a “rough couple of years,” she said.

At the time, she told me, she hadn’t anticipated the logistical burdens that come with a loved one’s death.

“I knew that the grief was coming. What I did not know was the logistics. I knew that my dad had a will. But where do I bring it? What do I even do with it?” Robison said. “My relatives were certainly trying to help me. They were very supportive, but no one seemed to know, like step by step, what do I need to do with post-death logistics. I’m an eldest daughter, and I process grief through humor. And I was like, I guess this is my job now. I need to fix it for everyone.”

The expo featured a range of vendors and death-focused organizations, from a person selling handmade earrings (I was tempted.) to funeral homes, death doulas and others who work in the space. It took place in a bar on Chicago’s north side called the Sleeping Village, so I was able to grab a couple of beers to complement the great and essential conversations.

I went with my friend Joel Eastland, a safety professional and former firefighter and EMT. He and I run a PTSD support group at Burning Man events.

Zeidman’s performance was preceded by two talks by funeral directors that covered the dying process and its immediate aftermath.

“I use humor obviously to talk about death and other tough subjects because I get it’s hard to talk about for a lot of people,” Zeidman said during her performance. “We all go our whole lives not even wanting to think about it sometimes, but you know comedy gives us a way to start those conversations.”

They were also doing advance care planning and living wills onsite, with a lawyer and a notary present to advise participants and certify the documents.

One thing that surprised me was that no hospices were present. I would have thought that with their emphasis on community outreach and education, they would have jumped at the chance to be there.

Demystifying and talking about death are essential in our culture, particularly because so few are willing to do it. Fear and avoidance earlier in life leave people unprepared when they near death, whether it be the end of their own lives or the impending loss of a loved one.

“If people come away with a little bit more knowledge, mission accomplished,” Reid Gerdes said. “If people come away a little less afraid of death, mission accomplished. If people come away and they’re a little more curious about it, mission accomplished.”

I was thrilled to see an event like this, and I felt proud that it happened in my hometown of Chicago.